Treasures of Life

Today, I open my account and write about the first principle 'Don’t criticize, condemn or complain' by Dale Carnegie. He has rightly chosen this principle to be the first principle of his book ‘How to win friends and influence people’.

He explains this with a quote ‘If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive’. If you want to win the hearts of your prospective friends, don’t ever hurt their self-respect. Words that come out of our mouth (knowingly or unknowingly) are very important to make this principal work. They are to be used so carefully, that even a small word that comes from your mouth could hammer a nail into the heart.

During my first job, I used to stay with my aunt. Her behavior towards everyone wasn’t acceptable. She used to condemn me even during our normal conversations. She used to spy me like I’d steal anything from her home. She used to criticize me about my economic status and my lifestyle. She made me feel like I was a burden to her and always hurt my feelings.

For the rest of my life, I would never forget the words that she used when I was leaving after my resignation. She said to something like ‘Stay away from my kids and take all your things to never come back, you moron’. Well, if she had told me this using some polite words, I would have felt bad, but I would have forgotten them easily. But, those words are now so fit in my mind, that whatever efforts I take to remove them, they’ll never go away.

Another person in my life who was my classmate, used to just complain just about everything in her life. Finding faults was the only goal of her life. She used to complain about her parents for not letting her going out with her loafer boyfriend, she used to be unhappy about the bike her father had gifted her on her birthday. She used to complain about the poor people who begged her and used to say bad words to them. Because of this attitude, she had very few or no friends. Everyone avoided her or made fun of her.

What Dale Carnegie says, is that, Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. People don’t criticize themselves for anything no matter how wrong they may be.

The author has given lots of examples in his book and made us aware about the dangers of criticism, condemnation and complaints.

Author of this post: Swapnali

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Hello Dear Friends,

I am Swapnali. I'm studing Masters in Physiotherapy (Neuroscience). I like reading books on Public Relations and Art of Counseling. Yeah, I have to possess these skills in my profession and moreover I like interacting with people.

Recently, I've started reading a book, How to win Friends and influence People, By Dale Carnegie. It's the most revolutionary book I've ever been reading; which has been written decades ago. My father-in-law recommended it to me. He also recommended me to write about the personal experiences in my life wherein the principles given in this book could be applied.

So, with due respect to the great author, Dale Carnegie, I would write about the principles laid down in his book, their application in my day-to-day life and about the consequential benefits.

Why have I chosen the Guest blogger section of 'Love begets Wealth'? I've read it and I found it wonderful. And the techniques described in the booklet, which is a part of book are just marvelous. They guide and motivate most lethargic youth. I haven't seen such a great inspirational book. I refer to it whenever I find myself in despair or dejected. Also, I liked the style of writing, its humor and poetry. And that's why, I chose to write here.

As I am a Physiotherapist, I have also started writing about my profession on my blog which may interest you: http://physical-therapy-online.blogspot.com/.

Please keep visiting at both the sites and send your comments too.

ThanQ, Swapnali.

Author of this post: Swapnali.